Immature

fight club

have you ever feel like this is a very strange time in your life? not knowing whether you are already a woman or still a girl, feel messy, insecure of almost everything, feel like having bipolar disorder? your life seem so strange to you, not knowing the state that you should stand on. phew, so immature huh?
yeah, I feel that things right now and it's really disturb me. I feel so worry about almost everything. I feel like a low quality human being. I am so sorry for people that meet me in this very strange time.
I secretly want (now it's not secret anymore since I post it here) that I don't meet new people right now because I'm not ready. I'm not ready for having new friend because I feel so disgusting. It maybe a very weird wish, but this is really hard to explain anyway.

Siapa Ngga Mau Senyum Siap Siap Tak Cium

I'm in the state of not knowing my goal.
For what I hope, what I want, what I live for. I don't have any reason anymore.
It's like, there's no result of hoping, wanting and trying.
I'm really stuck and feeling so useless, nothing to rely on.


I totally lost my confidence to live.

One Day Tour Guide

Yesterday I accompanied my father's friend from Korea, Min Jung Oh, to have tour around the city, that was very nice time with her. I also asked Mutia to join us. fufufu :3











We went to 3 places: Kasongan, Kerathon, and Mirota Batik.
I'm sorry that Min Jung didn't really enjoy the time we had in Kasongan (because the ceramic not so traditional, they have a lot in Korea too). And the Kerathon was also closed when we arrived there. But we enjoyed the time at Mirota Batik and chilled at the roof top and had little talk about life.

She is a dancer, a modern dancer. She has been in many places in the world to perform her dance: US, Japan, Holland, Cekoslavia, and many other places. So envy.
She is also very nice to me and Mutia, I like her a lot.
At night she has to go back to Korea, and she told us that she wants to stay longer here because she is so sick of the hectic schedule she has in Korea. She likes Indonesia I think :--3
and of course I like Indonesia too especially Yogyakarta.

Indonesia Versus Vietnam

here we are,
Titin, the next fancy doctor - Keke, the next oh-so-cool dentist -Aghni, the next beautiful accountant - Mutia, the next one-of-a-kind foreign minister for Indonesia -Inas, the next fashionable yet chubby journalist - Linda, the next great chinese accountant - Tria, the next reliable psychics - Shasa, the next oh-so-funny minister of Indonesian tourism - and Me, the next very adorable, most wanted, and successful art director :D








today, I hanged out with them and watched Indonesian football match versus Vietnam (Indonesia won)
yeah they are my funny mood booster close friends from high school. Each of us take different college department that I have mentioned them above. wish us luck for our study :D

Drawing (on shirt) for Sale!

The Trend: everybody is being attached to each other nowadays. ehm no, not attached, but so similar. (handmade, 0.3 waterproof pen, deco textil from Lefranc & Burgeois color)

this shirt is for sale :D
for serious buyer, personal message me to negotiate the price.
first, add the comment to this blog :)

by buying this t-shirt you'll help me to buy concert ticket that I really REALLY want to attend. hahaha. seriously, don't buy it if you just pity on me.

The Warmth

Today I did a little experiment *tsah* with the photoshop: color layering and hue-ing/lightening layering. I like the color so much, feel so warm :)
just adding the photo filter layer and choose warm color (I add 2 layers, orange and green) and increase the light by adding hue/lightness layer until the desired color appear. just feel it, no formula for this :D

this is me at my room, actually I'm fatter than the picture

and this is Aghni, my supermodel very close friend from high school at my little messy room. she sets the camera herself :D

Being an Older Sister

I'm an older sister of a 5-years-old-younger-than-me girl. it's an honor for me. Everytime she asks me for an advice, I stop and thinking what's the best for her. That's what (hopefully) making me maturer. And I love her for that.
This evening she asked me: my rank at class drop so drastically from 3 to 9. I will be so embarassed and feeling guilty. What should I do?
well, the truth is, I think the rank she got is very nice! hello, when I was in junior high I never been in the list of 10 big rank in so many times (just 2 or 3 times in 6 semester). So I told her not to worry too much. The importance is if she knows what she has learned, if she knows what her passion is and if she has plenty friends to chill with. Life is too short to chase something that would not make us happy right? Just don't worry, if you are happy, your life will be just fine even when you don't get a good score. The point is to thank and don't forget to have friends with you :D

the photo was taken this night when I had dinner with my college mates. they are so gorgeous ♥

UFO #19 candidate

nada and me. fufufu :--3

kak arme, kak jojo, kak akbar, kak fitri

jasmi, puti, nada

That was taken at sunday. It's been awhile I'm not taking any photo from analog camera and that sunday I did the analog photography again with my UFO #19 mates! such a fun but tiring day. phew.
My father was one of the UFO's founder. But surprisingly, yesterday he told me not to join UFO but joining theater club -_-
I'll post what we've taken that day in few weeks, after the photo getting submit as our portfolio. fufufufu :--3

Place to Eat #2

last night after watching Mahmud's theater show, I had dinner with Aghni at Hill Man. Actually it's our very first time. The food taste real good (since I am fan of european-indonesian food, europe food with the indonesian spicy peculiar food). I ordered chicken spaghetti for 15.000. rupiah. it was very creamy and I love it. Aghni ordered chicken barbeque with rice and iced tea for just 10.000 rupiah! And the more specialty is, it's placed at Gejayan which is very near at my house, across the street! So so love it.

Ngayogjazz

Unlike the other 'jazz' musicians, in ngayogjazz you'll taste a real jazz. Hehe. And free for everyone!








Sadly I didn't make it til the show is officially over, at 00.00

That's A Red

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Sara: What have I got, Harry? Why should I even make the bed or wash the dishes? I do them. But why should I? ......I'm alone. Your father's gone, you're gone. I got no one.... to care for.

Sara: What have I got, Harry? I'm lonely. I'm old.

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Sara Goldfarb (Ellen Burstyn) is the best character for this Requiem for a Dream. I like many of her plots. You know, Jared is good though but Ellen is way better.
She's old, lonely, television addict, remind me a lot of my grandma. that's killing me so bad actually.
I watched it 3 times and still want to watch it again.

Experiencing High School

I still can't move on from my high school friends.
yeah... I don't want to move on anyway.
I experienced high school so well. haha. skipped class, not worried from being ugly at school (yeah seriously, never want to look pretty at school), didn't do assignment, cheap food at canteen (my college canteen foods price are suck!), have a great friends, dreamed a lot of happy things. oh how I miss that moment so much! Though they say high school sucks, high school is pretty happy for me :D