feeling HIDE

2012-02-10T09:53:00.000-08:00

I need some prayers, everything went unwell I guess. and it's bugging me.

I like soko lately, and by the way this video has no relation at all with my feeling right now :B

Percaya Diri >< Insecure Terhadap Masa Depan

2012-01-31T07:25:00.000-08:00

we can't foresee clearly but we can still expecting the best
all photographs in this blog are my copyright (unless I mention that it's not :p)

Perhatikan contoh kasus berikut:

1. Tina dan Didi sedang berargumen mengenai jawaban yang tepat untuk soal ujian mata pelajaran bahasa indonesia. Tina yakin betul jawaban yg tepat adalah b karena dia menjawab b, sedangkan dodi tidak yakin dengan jawabannya yaitu opsi d. Keadaan Tina tersebut bukan percaya diri yang saya maksud (karena tidak ada statement pendukung kebenaran jawabannya).

2. Tina sedang menggunakan dress kembang kembang ke pantai. Dia yakin betul dress tersebut sangat diminati dan menyebabkan dirinya terlihat bagus sehingga muncul rasa bangga terhadap diri sendiri karena menggunakan pakaian layak puji. Hal tersebut juga bukan percaya diri yang saya maksud.

3. Didi menggunakan celana pendek usang yang ketinggalan jaman ke sebuah restoran bagus di kotanya. Tapi dia bangga karena itu lah yang mencerminkan sejatinya dirinya. Hal tersebut lah yang saya katakan percaya diri, dengan alasan pendukung yang memang tepat, mengacu pada rasa kepercayaan atas dirinya sendiri, ke-original-an pemikirannya. Tidak peduli statement yang sedang tren saat itu.

Percaya pada kemampuan diri sendiri itu hal yang sungguh menyenangkan, walau kadang dibilang nyleneh, sesungguhnya setiap manusia itu nyleneh (liat aja tingkah tingkah anak kecil). Seiring berjalannya waktu, kita diharapkan untuk behave, karena nantinya itulah yang akan dituntut dalam kehidupan bermasyarakat. Orang dewasa dengan segala aturannya yang menurut saya complicating things, ribet.
Akhirnya kita meninggalkan kepercayaan diri. Kita lebih senang mengacu pada peraturan yang telah dibentuk sekian rupa. Dari situlah saya pikir banyak bermunculan penakut.

Saya sendiri (mungkin dulunya) penakut. Saya dulunya suka takut liat nilai rapor. Takut nilainya jelek, padahal harapan masyarakat (setidaknya keluarga) adalah nilai saya tidak jelek. Jika saya percaya diri, saya akan fine saja dengan hasil apapun yang saya dapat (tanpa ribet ber-behave karena berpikir kalo nilai jelek tanggungan sikap untuk diambil di masyarakat/keluarga akan berat) toh saya bersekolah dengan wajar dan saya percaya saya mampu dapat nilai bagus karena saya yakin saya pintar dengan segala bukti bukti bahwa saya tidak kesulitan mengikuti pelajaran. Lalu mengapa musti takut?

Secara tidak langsung ketidakpercayaan diri menimbulkan ketakutan atas masa depan. Padahal siapa yang tahu kalau masa depan itu sebenernya terbentuk dari pikiran positif kita. Sejak sekarang jalani saja yang ada tanpa perlu takut takut, yang penting kita berpikir dan yakin bahwa masa depan akan baik.

maap sok ngasih motivasi, tapi sebenernya enak lo kalo kita menjalani kesempatan yang ada saat ini tanpa mikir mikir negatif nan ribet tentang masa depan. well, kebanyakan sih problem utama orang seusia saya itu insecure terhadap masa depan.
seize the day!

Relator

2012-01-29T20:33:00.000-08:00

Relator by Pete Yorn & Scarlett Johansson

In dictionary, relator means person who tells story.
In my brain, relator here means something that's relating two people (or more)

I hate it when I have no relator to people that I would like to know them better. It feels like we are not in the same fate (does fate real?).

Finally, A Road Trip!

2012-01-25T08:21:00.000-08:00

yesterday Aulia, Bisma, Tomi and I had a road trip to Solo (from Jogja). We went off at 6 p.m. and came back at 5 a.m. That trip was very exciting since I crave a road trip sooooo much. yippeee, finally.

This early week seem so rough to me that I have to see 2 of my lecturer because of my semester final exam. This morning (with only 2 hours of sleep), I had the meeting with Mas Sulhan, my Ilmu Sosial Dasar lecturer. I thought I had a very big mistake in my essay, but unpredictably... my essay got an A, a well done one, that's why he wanted to met me. haha. I am such bloody relieved right now. bad news turns good. oh thanks God :D

Birthday of Aghni

2012-01-18T06:38:00.000-08:00

long time no post from me ya bloggies.
16 january is my friend's, aghni, birthday. and that (lame) video was made by me and 3 others. 3 hours of making. haha.

My First Stop Motion

2012-01-06T03:55:00.000-08:00

music: crimewave by crystal castle

it's kinda lame. but yeah, I've tried my best *prek*
remember when I ever told you that I really want to make a stop motion or at least getting one? yesterday I remembered my resolution and say to myself: I have to do this right now.
you know, it feels so glad to grant your own wishing :)

Am I Ready?

2011-12-30T23:40:00.000-08:00

taken from Sea Wolf's video, The Violet Hour

This year been so rough to me: the break up, hated by someone, freshman year in college, the lack of wish and longing. This year is so lame. I am so lame. Okay, I pass the national final examination and SNMPTN test very well, but that was just what I need to do, not what I want to do. get it? no? just forget it.

Sometimes we think we just stay in a same lame person all of this time, but when you realize, you have grown up, you're getting better. Be confident of yourself and don't waste time.
My resolution for 2012 is very simple: not wasting time, my future is my present. So, when all of this time I always talk to my self like: I want to learn how to cook the creme brule.. starting tomorrow, or maybe sunday, or next monday. I will emphatically talk to myself to do everything that I want to do tomorrow right now! yeah. I've been an expert procrastinator this whole time, and that will be over starting tomorrow! ok.. starting right now.
what a smart resolution I have. wish me luck! and have a great new year everybody :D

P.S.
just saying to whole world, that I have to over the break up in a classy way, so I'll talk to my ex later on.
and.. I have to over this enemy status because I don't do hate and this is so killing me actually. No, it's not because I'm a goody good person or being a virgin nun-ny, it's just, felt not so good to be hated you know, so.. I wish I can fix this up, asap. I need some supportive friend right now... see yaaaa, I'm calling my friends right now!

When A Guy Has A Crush On You

2011-12-29T20:05:00.000-08:00

he will stroke his hair like that.

In every movie, when a guy fall for a girl, he will do the same thing like the picture above.
And when I notice some guys are doing that thing around me, I always feel flattered :D

*well, then, from now on you'll consider to stop doing that, don't you? oh please, just don't stop doing that.. pretty please.

The Holiday

2011-12-26T21:05:00.000-08:00

happy holiday everyone!
I am introducing, Citra Winedar.

Gentle Choco For Sisterhood

2011-12-25T07:54:00.000-08:00

Today my sister arrive at town. yeiy.
At night I made her a cup of hot sugar-free-chocolate to warmth the moment.
friends and lovers may come and go, but the sisterhood will last forever :D

Think Complete-ly

2011-12-24T20:04:00.000-08:00

if you just focus in one part....

you'll miss how cute the whole thing is. so, just don't overthink. think cute :D

the 'talent' is dek dino. he was me and my brother's favorite doll back then. we had like hundred dolls that time. My father loved to buy us doll when he went out of town. hihi.
I love my brother so much, we used to play dolls when I was like 4 years old, though he is a boy, he didn't mind to play doll! with me! and sometimes he asked me to play super nintendo and playstation with him. our favorite multiplayer game on nintendo was gufi and his nephew, max, adventure. what a super childhood I had!

oh ya, anyway, merry christmas everyone!

Finding the Light

2011-12-20T03:14:00.000-08:00

So many college tasks but I'm so dull right now. oh inspiration where can I find you? (or buy you?)
well, what makes us dull, I think of some reasons:
1. completely center to one feeling.
2. too lazy to think
3. too afraid to think
4. too many ideas, can't pick the best one ._.

Feeling Great

2011-12-19T03:12:00.000-08:00

W for Winner

taken at my family favorite secret beach out of town, somewhere in central java :-D

I'm happy because my nail is polished, I'm happy because I feel the beach breeze, I'm mostly happy over little thing. It's not because my low standard of happiness, but actually, I try to enjoy every occasion I have even the most simple.
Maybe that's why I sad over little thing too.

Semua Orang Sinis, Termasuk Google

2011-12-18T00:34:00.000-08:00

very popular problem

PS. maksud hati mencari 'mengapa jogja disebut sebagai kota pelajar', baru nulis mengapa jo.... eh suggestion-nya 'mengapa jodoh tak kunjung datang'
well, have you ever wonder why? (but, actually, I don't really care about this right now because I think I am too young for that kind of stuff, I am not really into commitment issue right now. hehe)

Feels Like Holiday and Hiatus All The Time

2011-12-12T23:44:00.000-08:00

I smell like beach~

This month is absolutely holiday season, christmas and new year are on their way. But, the active college days of mine are still haunting until the end of January next year.
Erm, you know what, ever since I go to college, everyday feels like saturday to me. Nothing so serious, everyday. I go everywhere freely because the very spare schedule, unlike when I was in high school. It's like I'm hibernating from activity, and it's suck anyway.

I my self, as a lazy human being, feel sick of the unproductive spare time. It's ok if it is in a week, but in whole 3 month? it's horrible. Well okay, maybe I am not into the very-busy-college day yet. But seriously, I need some works.

PS: I also crave for road trip

Father vs Mother

2011-12-12T03:01:00.000-08:00

Father and mother, there is no such a big deal for not having one of them, that's what people will think. But, you know, there are a lot of differences between women and men, that's why we are created as women and men, not all in the same sex.
Okay, in the normal condition of human, both mother and father are caring and protective. But.. who knows you better between them? Mother wins.
Women aren't snob creature. They tend to think their selves don't know anything, that's what make them know everything. Unlike the snob men that think they are such a know-everything human being. They absolutely think they are the most righteous person, their opinion is the best, they won't listen (that's the extreme version of the explanation)
There is a huge different huh? Yeah, woman such a kind hearted (I am woman). That's why we all love our mother and can't live without them.

Ps: I really miss my mother.
Dear mother, our father doesn't know how my skin problem is going so brutal right now, it hurts and disgusting.. err. I hope I have a mature woman that understand my need. Grandma doesn't help a lot anyway. you know, she is oldschool. Remember my first scratch over my calf? You really cure it like no mark at all! you are the most amazing woman. I wish you have internet connection in your place in order to read this and tell me how to treat my very sensitive skin. xoxo.

Saturday's Brunch

2011-12-10T00:33:00.000-08:00

I am a big fan of pop corn..
and I usually make my own homemade popcorn, it could be sweet, salty, caramelized, barbeque seasoned, cheesy, and everything.
This afternoon, I make this caramelized popcorn for myself. a big handful of corn seeds all for my self :D~~~

Here some tips from me to make this caramelized pop corn:
1. cook the seeds, as usual, add some salts while the seeds aren't popping yet (just because this is sweet food doesn't mean you don't add any salt)
2. when your pop corn is ready, start to make the caramel
3. add some sugar to a pot (the smallest one is the best), then add some water which is in a same amount as the sugar, but add 3 more teaspoon of water.
4. cook the sugar in a medium heat, stir it and on and on.
5. when it gets bubbly, stop stiring. just leave it until the caramel color appears. (kind of gold or light brown) your caramel supposed to be sticky and free from sugar pulp.
6. quickly pour the caramel to the pop corn (I prefer you put the popcorn at a flat plate). mix it.
7. eat while it's warm and crunchy~

your popcorn should stick to each other like this because of the very-deliciuous-sticky-caramel :D~

have a nice weekend everybody ;)

Wake Up As A Different Person

2011-12-07T07:48:00.000-08:00

fight club, this movie is so smart. okay not that smart, but yeah, smart.

I sometimes wish when I wake up tomorrow I'll be the person I want to be. Yeah, I always wish like that and maybe it's coming true (or at least will)

Kulo Nuwun Party 2011

2011-12-03T00:36:00.000-08:00

Last night I and my college mates had a party that we've been working out for about 2 months.
That was very awesome party. I am proud to be part of them :--)

*damn the auto focus, won't work well (for me). this was my very first time using canon eos 50d...*

Immature

2011-11-27T21:31:00.000-08:00

fight club

have you ever feel like this is a very strange time in your life? not knowing whether you are already a woman or still a girl, feel messy, insecure of almost everything, feel like having bipolar disorder? your life seem so strange to you, not knowing the state that you should stand on. phew, so immature huh?
yeah, I feel that things right now and it's really disturb me. I feel so worry about almost everything. I feel like a low quality human being. I am so sorry for people that meet me in this very strange time.
I secretly want (now it's not secret anymore since I post it here) that I don't meet new people right now because I'm not ready. I'm not ready for having new friend because I feel so disgusting. It maybe a very weird wish, but this is really hard to explain anyway.

Siapa Ngga Mau Senyum Siap Siap Tak Cium

2011-11-25T04:38:00.001-08:00

I'm in the state of not knowing my goal.
For what I hope, what I want, what I live for. I don't have any reason anymore.
It's like, there's no result of hoping, wanting and trying.
I'm really stuck and feeling so useless, nothing to rely on.

I totally lost my confidence to live.

One Day Tour Guide

2011-11-22T19:46:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I accompanied my father's friend from Korea, Min Jung Oh, to have tour around the city, that was very nice time with her. I also asked Mutia to join us. fufufu :3

We went to 3 places: Kasongan, Kerathon, and Mirota Batik.
I'm sorry that Min Jung didn't really enjoy the time we had in Kasongan (because the ceramic not so traditional, they have a lot in Korea too). And the Kerathon was also closed when we arrived there. But we enjoyed the time at Mirota Batik and chilled at the roof top and had little talk about life.

She is a dancer, a modern dancer. She has been in many places in the world to perform her dance: US, Japan, Holland, Cekoslavia, and many other places. So envy.
She is also very nice to me and Mutia, I like her a lot.
At night she has to go back to Korea, and she told us that she wants to stay longer here because she is so sick of the hectic schedule she has in Korea. She likes Indonesia I think :--3
and of course I like Indonesia too especially Yogyakarta.

Indonesia Versus Vietnam

2011-11-19T08:36:00.000-08:00

here we are,
Titin, the next fancy doctor - Keke, the next oh-so-cool dentist -Aghni, the next beautiful accountant - Mutia, the next one-of-a-kind foreign minister for Indonesia -Inas, the next fashionable yet chubby journalist - Linda, the next great chinese accountant - Tria, the next reliable psychics - Shasa, the next oh-so-funny minister of Indonesian tourism - and Me, the next very adorable, most wanted, and successful art director :D

today, I hanged out with them and watched Indonesian football match versus Vietnam (Indonesia won)
yeah they are my funny mood booster close friends from high school. Each of us take different college department that I have mentioned them above. wish us luck for our study :D

Drawing (on shirt) for Sale!

2011-11-18T03:18:00.000-08:00

The Trend: everybody is being attached to each other nowadays. ehm no, not attached, but so similar. (handmade, 0.3 waterproof pen, deco textil from Lefranc & Burgeois color)

this shirt is for sale :D
for serious buyer, personal message me to negotiate the price.
first, add the comment to this blog :)

by buying this t-shirt you'll help me to buy concert ticket that I really REALLY want to attend. hahaha. seriously, don't buy it if you just pity on me.

The Warmth

2011-11-17T08:45:00.000-08:00

Today I did a little experiment *tsah* with the photoshop: color layering and hue-ing/lightening layering. I like the color so much, feel so warm :)
just adding the photo filter layer and choose warm color (I add 2 layers, orange and green) and increase the light by adding hue/lightness layer until the desired color appear. just feel it, no formula for this :D

this is me at my room, actually I'm fatter than the picture

and this is Aghni, my supermodel very close friend from high school at my little messy room. she sets the camera herself :D

Being an Older Sister

2011-11-16T07:37:00.000-08:00

I'm an older sister of a 5-years-old-younger-than-me girl. it's an honor for me. Everytime she asks me for an advice, I stop and thinking what's the best for her. That's what (hopefully) making me maturer. And I love her for that.
This evening she asked me: my rank at class drop so drastically from 3 to 9. I will be so embarassed and feeling guilty. What should I do?
well, the truth is, I think the rank she got is very nice! hello, when I was in junior high I never been in the list of 10 big rank in so many times (just 2 or 3 times in 6 semester). So I told her not to worry too much. The importance is if she knows what she has learned, if she knows what her passion is and if she has plenty friends to chill with. Life is too short to chase something that would not make us happy right? Just don't worry, if you are happy, your life will be just fine even when you don't get a good score. The point is to thank and don't forget to have friends with you :D

the photo was taken this night when I had dinner with my college mates. they are so gorgeous ♥

UFO #19 candidate

2011-11-15T05:05:00.000-08:00

nada and me. fufufu :--3

kak arme, kak jojo, kak akbar, kak fitri

jasmi, puti, nada

That was taken at sunday. It's been awhile I'm not taking any photo from analog camera and that sunday I did the analog photography again with my UFO #19 mates! such a fun but tiring day. phew.
My father was one of the UFO's founder. But surprisingly, yesterday he told me not to join UFO but joining theater club -_-
I'll post what we've taken that day in few weeks, after the photo getting submit as our portfolio. fufufufu :--3

Place to Eat #2

2011-11-13T21:02:00.000-08:00

last night after watching Mahmud's theater show, I had dinner with Aghni at Hill Man. Actually it's our very first time. The food taste real good (since I am fan of european-indonesian food, europe food with the indonesian spicy peculiar food). I ordered chicken spaghetti for 15.000. rupiah. it was very creamy and I love it. Aghni ordered chicken barbeque with rice and iced tea for just 10.000 rupiah! And the more specialty is, it's placed at Gejayan which is very near at my house, across the street! So so love it.

Ngayogjazz

2011-11-13T02:19:00.000-08:00

Unlike the other 'jazz' musicians, in ngayogjazz you'll taste a real jazz. Hehe. And free for everyone!

Sadly I didn't make it til the show is officially over, at 00.00

That's A Red

2011-11-11T18:33:00.000-08:00

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sara: What have I got, Harry? Why should I even make the bed or wash the dishes? I do them. But why should I? ......I'm alone. Your father's gone, you're gone. I got no one.... to care for.

Sara: What have I got, Harry? I'm lonely. I'm old.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sara Goldfarb (Ellen Burstyn) is the best character for this Requiem for a Dream. I like many of her plots. You know, Jared is good though but Ellen is way better.
She's old, lonely, television addict, remind me a lot of my grandma. that's killing me so bad actually.
I watched it 3 times and still want to watch it again.

Experiencing High School

2011-11-11T00:07:00.000-08:00

I still can't move on from my high school friends.
yeah... I don't want to move on anyway.
I experienced high school so well. haha. skipped class, not worried from being ugly at school (yeah seriously, never want to look pretty at school), didn't do assignment, cheap food at canteen (my college canteen foods price are suck!), have a great friends, dreamed a lot of happy things. oh how I miss that moment so much! Though they say high school sucks, high school is pretty happy for me :D

Feeling Fucked

2011-11-06T07:26:00.001-08:00

FUCK!
-pencil on drawing paper-

yeah well, today I feel like 'what the fuck is going on with me'
you know, the kind of un-describe-able sad feeling.
I don't even know what exactly is going on with me. Is that I miss my mom, or I miss my family so much, or unfinished college task, or feeling unwanted, or just the lonely feeling? Nothing so exact. Nothing so serious.
Oh life, don't take me as a challenge to destroy please :'(

My Home

2011-11-04T08:53:00.000-07:00

I've been sooooooo busy this whole month and I can't just stay to update this blog. haha. no, seriously, I'm not that busy. I was just so away from my home, not away like going out of city, I had many things to do outside the house. these are some of my activity pictures of this hectic day today:

had lunch with my girls and hanging out at my house
this is our favorite place to have lunch (and breakfast), we call it jus jus an (the real name is cafe gerobak). It has very cozy outdoor environment and nice waiter. we love it here :3

I want to laugh so much. haha. kidding. that was by request by the way.

I love them :3

and I love this one, pic of meh. so cool eh?

At noon, I went to ivaa (indonesian visual art archive), attended some workshops from fur magazine. that was really cool event and really cool venue as well, so many many many cool books there, love that so muchy :3

candid Yaya.

and in the night I went out with friends, and friends of friends. Aulia, Bisma, Wana, Ical and Acip.

oh gosh. seriously, why I have to be that serious in singing like, yeah, well, this is really bad picture of me, not taking a bath this whole day hahaha.

Well, these are kind of really 'selo; activity hahaha. yeah, I am that selo. And that was fun. Ok, maybe I'm not that kind of person who's going home so early because 'home' for me is where you have your heart. Home is not always the place where you go to sleep, home is where I can be with the people I love and find joyous :) *tsaaaaah*

but seriously this week I've been so busy with the mid test. wish me luck :D

BYDEWE

2011-10-18T09:05:00.000-07:00

this event is especially made for high school-er and college freshman who are interested in alternative media.

Date:
November 4 - 5 2011

Workshop speakers by:
Ageng Purwandono (Kedaulatan Rakyat)
Ardyan M. Erlangga (i:boekoe)
M. Bakkar Wibowo
Tampan Destawan S (fur)

for further info you can contact me :)
yahoo! messenger: helosekar
facebook: Sekar Bestari

GO SUBMIT YOUR NAME.. HOPE YOU GUYS WON'T MISS IT :D

Generasi Google #DDP

2011-10-04T19:46:00.000-07:00

Pulang kuliah adalah surga bagiku. Berada di rumah dan bebas melakukan apa saja. Menyambungkan diri dengan internet adalah suatu hal yang sepertinya wajib aku lakukan apalagi di waktu yang luang ini. Langsung saja kucari alamat mengunduh mp3 (secara gratis tentunya) dengan search engine paling top di jaman ini, si Google. Sesaat setelah kupencet tombol telusur, tak sampai semenit ribuan sumber langsung kudapat di depan mata, seketika itu juga Google menarik perhatianku. Berbagai hal muncul di pikiranku, tentang perkataan seorang dosen yang menyayangkan kurangnya produktivitas generasi sekarang dikarenakan mengakses internet melulu karena mudahnya akses tersebut dan menyalahkannya sebagai alasan untuk jarangnya mereka membaca buku (yang harus dibeli di toko buku). Apakah generasi sekarang, generasiku, pikirannya tidak sekreatif generasi pendahulu dengan kemudahan akses yang bisa digunakan semua orang saat ini? Apakah kemudahan akses ini menumpulkan cara berpikir kami?

Sebagai generasi yang sudah sejak lama memanfaatkan kepraktisan mencari data tentu saja saya tidak setuju jika kami dituding sebagai generasi yang pikirannya tumpul karena ada kemudahan akses. Dalam hal ini tentunya klise untuk menyalahkan teknologi dalam hal kurangnya generasi sekarang membaca buku dan lebih memilih browsing di internet yang mana hal itu ditding sebagai faktor tumpulnya pikiran anak muda. Hari gini siapa sih yang lebih memilih mengeluarkan puluhan ribu rupiahnya untuk membeli buku, belum lagi keluar biaya perjalanan menuju toko buku, sementara itu masih harus mencari sebuah buku ditumpukan buku lainnya. Males banget kalo anak muda sekarang bilang. Kalau bisa mengunduh e-book atau cari artikel di internet mengapa tidak? Tinggal ketik apa yang ingin kita cari dan voila, muncul ribuan sumber tanpa perlu beranjak dari tempat duduk. Notabene biaya internet pun terjangkau untuk kalangan mahasiswa. Dengan dua ribu rupiah sudah bisa mengakses internet selama satu jam dan mengunduh e-book gratisan sebanyak banyaknya. Jika dibandingkan dengan membeli buku yang hanya mengusung satu tema sungguh jauh perbandingannya dalam hal luasnya informasi maupun biaya.

Kemudahan akses ini justru menjadi salah satu batu loncatan generasi muda sekarang untuk berpikir lebih luas, keluar dari mainstream informasi yang itu itu saja. Kita bebas mencari informasi yang kita ingin, dan bebas pula memberikan informasi yang kita punya. Saya tidak setuju apabila generasi pendahulu menyalahkan kemudahan akses ini, dan menuding bahwa generasi kami adalah generasi yang pingin enaknya saja dan kreativitasnya tumpul. Bukankah jika ada yang enak kita lebih memilih yang enak? Dalam hal ini pun yang enak juga tidak lebih buruk dari yang tidak enak itu sendiri. Kreativitas kami pun bisa dibilang out of the box karena luasnya pandangan kami mengenai sesuatu. Lagipula, informasi yang ada di buku buku mahal itu bisa kita kumpulkan sedikit demi sedikit melalui akses internet yang sangat murah ini. Asal kita bisa memanfaatkan akses ini dengan baik, jangan cuma sibuk nyinyir di jejaring sosial saja. Mungkin dalam hal ini yang dipermasalahkan adalah bagaimana cara memanfaatkan penggunaan akses yang mudah ini dengan baik dan benar sesuai fungsinya untuk mahasiswa seperti saya, bukannya menyaalahkan kemudahan akses yang membuat generasi sekarang malas membaca. Dampak baik dan buruk itu sebenarnya ada di pilihan pribadi masing masing.

Sedih

2011-09-28T00:14:00.000-07:00

(source: http://blogspot-tips2.blogspot.com/2011/04/mercedes-benz-mobil-mewah-terbaik.html)

Bahagia itu beda untuk semua orang, abstrak dan ngga bisa diukur dengan apapun, entah uang, jabatan dan hal lain. Sedih rasanya kalo orangtua selalu mengukur-nya dengan hal hal materialistis.
Seperti misalnya orangtua bilang ke kita, "Belajar yang rajin biar besok bisa kaya bapak beli mercedes keluaran baru" Saya suka sedih kalo anak belajar cuma disuruh biar besok bisa jadi pejabat yang uangnya banyak, malah melupakan esensi belajar itu sendiri. Apakah mercedes menjamin kita bahagia, Pak? Apakah jadi pejabat DPR RI menjamin kita bahagia nantinya, Bu? Tidak ada yang bisa menjamin kebahagian dan memberinya patokan. Secara kasat mata mungkin iya, contohnya, DPR RI yang pertengahan taun ini melaksanakan studi banding ke negara negara Eropa dan yang dihasilkan bukannya materi untuk memajukan pemerintahan malah piknik bareng keluarganya (oke saya mungkin awam dalam hal ini, coba cek blog Basuki T. Purnama di sini untuk lebih jelasnya). Mereka terlihat seperti anak TK yang sungguh pathetic, menginginkan liburan ke luar negeri. Apakah mereka bahagia? Makan uang rakyat untuk jalan jalan ke luar negeri dan sepulangnya ke sini yang dibawa malah tas tas dan sepatu high end bukannya ilmu yang seharusnya didapat dari study. Oke, stop cerita tentang government Indonesia, saya ngga ngerti, awam, ngga ingin sok tau dan menggurui. Tapi poinnya apakah kebahagiaan itu didapat dari harta?

Jika generasi muda sekarang ini diajarkan untuk bersifat konsumerisme, hedon, apa apa diukur dari price dan bukan value, mau jadi apa negeri kita? Mau jadi negeri permainan anak TK?
Mengapa tidak mulai sekarang katakan, "Bapak senang sekali bisa setiap hari bersama kalian dan ibu kalian, tanpa perlu mobil bagus bagus bapak sudah bersyukur sekali ada kalian, kalian yang selalu men-support. Terimakasih banyak ya." Anak anak pasti akan berpikir bahwa tujuan kita bukan mercedes, tapi kesejukan hati, rasa syukur, dan ketenangan. Rasa syukur yang bukan terpaksa karena dikira bersyukur itu ibadah yang nilainya 99 poin pahala. Ew, tentu saja bukan rasa syukur yg seperti itu. Rasa syukur menerima apa yang dititipkan-Nya di dunia ini pada kita tanpa perlu egois dan serakah. Kalo dipikir sih mustahil. Hari gini apa sih yang ngga pake uang? Mau pipis aja bayar. Well memang iya, makannya itu kita dikasih akal, gimana sih biar pipis ngga bayar? Gimana sih biar apa apa ngga perlu pake uang (dalam hal ini menjadi bahagia)? Pake akal mu, jangan cuma pake duit, kekerasan, kekuasaan. Malah kalo diliat di kota kota besar itu banyak yg stress gara gara ngejar duit melulu padahal rumahnya juga udah bagus, mobilnya bagus, penghasilannya di atas UMR banget. Kalo dibandingin sama orang orang desa yang apa adanya, ikhlas dan lebih sumringah, kontras sekali. (mungkin bisa bandingin orang orang jakarta dan joga, yg notabene jogja bukan desa yang isinya sawah kaya di ftv)

Silakan saja sih kalo ada yg filosofi tentang hidupnya adalah menjadi orang yang uangnya banyak, menurut saya sih jangan sampai lupa aja untuk menghargai hak orang lain, menghargai diri sendiri, jangan terlalu terbawa lifestyle yang sekarang keliatannya ada ada saja, menghindari sifat sifat DPR RI yang sekarang (semoga nantinya governmet lebih bijak, malu ngga sih kita tinggal di negri yang kaya raya tapi sekolah gratis aja ngga bisa terwujud?), setidaknya sekarang jangan ukur orang itu bahagia atau engga dari rumahnya, kendaraannya atau gadget nya. itu sih harapanku, setidaknya untukku sendiri :D

Kehilangan Mandi

2011-09-27T08:18:00.000-07:00

Heart in a Heartbreak by The Pains of Being Pure at Heart

Memiliki kekasih untuk pertama kalinya adalah hal yang menyenangkan sekali, setidaknya untukku.
Putus dengan kekasih untuk pertama kalinya, yang notabene hubungan telah dijalankan lebih dari setahun bahkan dua tahun, adalah hal yang cukup aneh. Ya, memang sedih. Ya, memang galau. Tapi yang jelas ada kekosongan tersendiri. Kekosongan yang aneh kalo aku bilang. Yang biasanya setiap hari selalu diperhatikan dari bangun tidur, makan, mandi, pergi tidur dan bangun tidur lagi. Yang biasanya juga selalu ada untuk bercerita atau pergi bersama atau sekadar mengisi rasa bosan.. selama waktu yang cukup lama.
Pacar tidak seperti teman biasa yang mana teman biasa itu akan sangat awkward jika kita setiap saat memperhatikan gerak geriknya, menanyakan hal hal kecil seperti sudah mandi belum atau semoga tidur nyenyak dengan emote cium peluk dan cumbuan lainnya. Saat tidak ada lagi pacar, harus apa aku? Harus kepada siapa aku seperti itu?
Secara tidak langsung pacar itu sudah bagian dari hidup, bagian dari aktivitas. Seperti misalnya kalo biasanya dulu kamu tiap bangun tidur mandi, dan mandi itu tidak ada lagi sekarang, ada yang terasa kurang, ada yang terasa aneh di dirimu, entah bau atau tidak segar atau gatel gatel. Mandi pun tidak bisa dengan tiba tiba kita ganti dengan suatu kegiatan asing, misalnya berkubang, akan sangat berbeda rasanya saat kita masih punya mandi. Seperti itu mungkin ilustrasinya.
Ya, intinya aku di sini ingin curhat (dan boleh dibilang sedikit caper). Saya merasa ada yang kosong dan kurang. Bukan hanya itu, aku rasa tidak gampang untuk memperbaikinya. Ironis sekali saat tahu bahwa sebelumnya aku tidak memiliki kekasih selama 16 tahun dan baik baik saja. Ya, aku memang menyedihkan.
Menurutku, putus pertama kali ini menyiksa, cukup menyiksa. Tapi tidak menyesalinya. Ini saatnya mencari 'aktivitas' lain :D

She Is Too Pretty

2011-09-17T02:51:00.000-07:00

She is my youngest and only sister. She lives out of town for some reasons (and I wish she'll back to the same town with me 2 years from now, really wish so much!)
Anyway, don't you think she is so pretty? she used to be so chubby like this:

hahaha she turns out so different. and I envy her so much.
I wish she'll always in a good health, good relationship with friends and stay down to earth and classy. I love her so much :)

Girl-Hate

2011-09-16T07:39:00.000-07:00

Seorang cewek mungkin benci cowok. Tapi kebenciannya ngga seberapa kalo dibandingin dia benci sesama cewek.
Oke, mungkin ini sebuah isu klasik yang ababil banget kalo anak anak jaman sekarang (seperti saya) bilang.
Semua cewek pasti pernah membenci satu sama lain, baik yang tampak, yang terasa, yang tercium atau yang tak tampak, tak terasa, bahkan tak tercium.
Kalo saya bilang, cewe itu mengerikan sekali dalam hal benci membenci. Semua hal se-simple apapun kalo dilakukan oleh orang yang sedang cewe benci itu akan jadi hal seburuk buruknya hal, benar benar deh kalo bisa jangan sampai dibenci cewek.
Saya ngga mau subyektif di sini, baik dalam sisi hater maupun the one who is hated.
Pertama, kenapa membenci?
Cewek itu sebagian besar matre. Matre bukan dari segi harta benda aja, tapi juga matre dalam hal fisik, penampakan luar dan kebendaan lainnya. (Sebagian besar) cewek tergila gila mengejar keindahan yang sifatnya duniawi, baik disadari maupun engga. Hal itulah yang menggiring kita untuk membenci satu sama lain. Saat cewe lain cantik, pakainnya bagus, perhiasannya menyilaukan, pacarnya ganteng, pastilah masuk ke pikiran kita bahwa 'kenapa ngga aku aja yang seperti itu. toh dia ngga lebih baik dari aku' maka dari itu mulailah mata melihat dengan sinis dan akhirnya timbul kebencian. Mungkin seperti itu praktisnya kalo di otak saya.
Bisa juga: semua orang (dalam hal ini, cewek) pasti ingin dipandang dan diperlakukan sama. Jika ada cewek yang dipuja puja, disegani dan dielukan, sebaik apapun dia pasti banyak juga pembencinya. Karena para pembenci ingin juga diperlakukan seperti itu, mungkin.
Jadi, semuanya itu berasal dari rasa iri ya?
Ya bisa dibilang begitu. Tapi saya lebih suka menyebutnya kompetisi, dimana cewek suka sekali berkompetisi dalam hal hal semacam itu. Tapi, ujung ujungnya malah jadi ribut.
Kalo misalnya kita ngga ngapa ngapain kok tau tau dibenci?
Kamu ngga tau aja kalo kelebihanmu yang menyilaukan itu banyak, tapi kalo misalnya tau yaudah ngga usah lebay, jangan malah dilanjutin ntar malah keliatan maksa. Yang penting sih kalian stay cool aja, dan jangan sampai keliatan sok sok an cool. Ngga usah ambil pusing, gitu deh simple nya. Dan jangan sekali kali sampe sindir sindiran di jejaring sosial atau bahkan pake kata kasar :P
Apa bisa salahkan takdir saja kalo udah gini?
ya kalo itu mah terserah pribadi masing masing aja ya, tapi kalo menurut saya sih sebaiknya kita berhenti jadi ababil dan mulailah menghargai dan mencintai diri kita sendiri niscaya rasa benci ke orang lain itu sedikit demi sedikit mulai pudar karena pikiran kita dipenuhi rasa bahagia :D

Stay classy girls :D

The Worst Thing About Death

2011-09-10T22:05:00.000-07:00

Death is not that scary or miserable. It's very sad because we (the person who still live today) are being left by. I my self better be the dead one than the one who gets left.

Termakan Omongan Sendiri

2011-08-28T03:15:00.000-07:00

*I start to write in Indonesian right now because of some reasons: I have never been living in a country that fully use english as the main language or being active talker in english. so it maybe hard for me to give you idioms that english usually use. but I speak indonesia very fluently so I better with it. By the way, you can use translation that provided in my blog (you can find it in the right side of this page)*

Pernah ngga sih kamu kemakan omongan sendiri? misalnya nih suatu hari kamu bilang kamu ngga akan beli iPad karena ngga butuh atau pemborosan atau apaan sih kaya anak gaul pake iPad atau alasan yg lainnya. tiba tiba di suatu hari yang cerah.... tada, kamu update twitter, twitter for iPad. Dan ada segudang excuses dari kamu entah bilang bahwa tuntutan profesi atau karena dibeliin atau tuntutan jaman (pret banget). Dan akhirnya pada ngatain kamu kemakan omongan sendiri atau ngga konsisten lah atau labil atau apalah itu yg intinya offensive buatmu. Kalo saya mah who cares, emang saya pikirin? karena saya pikir People Changing. Yeah, kita semua berubah. Excuse yang mungkin bodoh banget dan klise. tapi memang kenyataannya seperti itu, bagian dari hidup. growing up, lingkungan yg berubah, pembelajaran, dan pola pikir. Tidak ada yg selamanya sama terus, kecuali emang udah sifat dari alam bawah sadarnya *opoh*. Seharusnya ngga usah lah mempermasalahkan bahkan mencibir orang orang yg kemakan omongan sendiri. Cukup diperhatikan saja (engga juga gapapa). Nanti malah suatu hari kita kemakan omongan sendiri bahwa ngga akan kemakan omongan sendiri setelah ngatain yg kemakan omongan sendiri :D
tapi menurut saya ada baiknya juga ngga usah banyak omong biar akhirnya nanti ngga jadi senjata makan tuan :D
stay real everybody!

I Am Young (Or Still Young)

2011-08-20T01:55:00.000-07:00

Young Blood by The Naked and Famous (Directed by Campbell Hooper and Joel Kefali)

I just realized that I am young (or still young) when I heard that song.
Fyi, I always feel too old because I'm 18.
Feeling old is not good at all. I stop being fun and young instead of worry I would seem weird or pathetic.
the way how young people be energetic in the video, you may call them pathetic or 'lebay amat sih neng'. But, when you slightly realize, being young is one in a lifetime. You can make being-a-young-person as an useful excuse for everything you do especially the pathetic things, like having crazy romance or crazy acts. Just say, "I am still so young, what's wrong with doing that crazy stuffs huh?" When you are old, you can't never make it some excuses like that. Being young is a real heaven.
like Indonesian would say: 'namanya juga anak muda!'
hail young people!

*tapi juga jangan sering sering kali neng*

2011-08-13T01:02:00.000-07:00

pencil on paper. original work from me.

Nowadays people like so much being on social network. Twitter, facebook, blogger, etc.
Sharing your life by updating status, twitting or posting an entry. What is the main purpose of it? Of course sharing, to let people know what you feel or do. But then, we start to be so self centered. Like having our bad opinion or judging something in negative way and it leads to trap other people to feel as bad as you. how cruel ya..
I obviously did that things to, I wanted people feel what I feel. But now, that was just really my old mistake. I have a good attitude, I will share the good thought of mine as a growing up woman.
ha!
xoxo

TV Show

2011-08-08T10:04:00.000-07:00

yesterday I and my father had time together watching television (which is I rarely do).
we were watching Jejak Si Gundul, you may read the review here. Not just watching, we were comparing to another tv show, Jika Aku Menjadi, here is the review.
as I read Diana Rikasari's blog post today here, I feel like writing my discussion here in my blog.
first, don't be mad at anything I write, because I kinda free styling on writing, there is no purpose to hurt anybody's feeling.
secondly, someone's ever get mad of what I wrote, so I kinda traumatic, hehe.

merely, Indonesian like to show mellow dramatic material on television. tears, sympathy and kinds. But, I don't think we should do that. why don't we start showing its joy than its tears. like showing more 'Jejak Si Gundul' than 'Jika Aku Menjadi'.
my point here is, every people want to be equally treated. everybody has their self esteem.
I regret it that the tv show really have its show so cruel, seriously, lowering someone value by comparing to our own value? that is ridiculous. we are all the same, aren't we?
in my sentence 'comparing to our value' which is I mean we, who live not-in-farm environment, the tv show is like wanting us to say "thanks God I have better life than 'Jika aku menjadi people' ", that is so stupid. do you think we are better than them? nobody's better than nobody. In case, like Diana Rikasari would say in her post, 'We should tell him how much we envy his simple, humble life in the village, because life in the city is full of complexities. We should provide him the faith that he can make a betterment in life if he works harder. We should support him to never feel disheartened, for life, no matter what, works in many different ways. And we guide him with whatever knowledge or information we have, so he can be inspired' that is what I really want to tell here actually, thanks to Diana.

I my self, hate to be treated low or less. I'd rather get moral and respect help better than money and all that material stuff that seem to talk like, 'oh pity you, I can't imagine how hard your life, you are so poor'

I Have the Coolest Phone Case Ever

2011-08-04T07:33:00.000-07:00

I especially made it for my self. bagus kan? great huh?

I am feeling great today. really great.
I got my salary from some work back days, and I have a new job today. a really nice job to me: drawing. how cool eh? get paid for something we love.
most times I feel less confident about my self. wondering why I'm not good enough, feeling small, useless, cupu, yada yada yada.
most times I am too afraid. afraid of making progress, afraid of what people will say, afraid of most bad things lah..
and now I maybe wake up from the dark age, aware that I totally have something to show, totally have something cool. I start to take some jobs that actually long time ago few people want me to do but I stop my self because I was too afraid that I am not good enough, that I was afraid of disappointing them. But, life is about trying, once you may fall but you can always wake up. don't be afraid ;)
2 days ago Sonia Prabowo and me had a little conversation that makes me realize all that above. convince me that I am special. And one year from now I am preparing my sketch exhibition, wish me luck, it's all thanks to her :)

Yesterday is New Today

2011-07-30T23:15:00.000-07:00

I was having fun with some friends at some place.
Titin, Aghni, Inas and Kheke.

titin tried to take picture from my very-heavy-digital-camera, look!

and I recently listening to this song

Holiday with Linda and Mutia (yeiy!)

2011-07-25T03:44:00.000-07:00

I and Mutia and Linda were going out of town by train. yipeee. and sleeping at my grandmama's house

eating bufallo soto

Kudus is like muslim version of bali

this is Pak Joko who drove us, my grandma's driver

spotted pepenk at kudus

at night we are playing fireworks at the front yard

fail Pepenk

that is my grandma (right)

we went to my mom's grave, how I miss her :')

^^^ Mutia's life saver

and we went to Linda's hometown, little china, sam poo kong (without paying the entry fee)

stres naik angkot

xoxo

2011-07-09T09:34:00.000-07:00

I want to START OVER everything. that's all I want.
I messed up my whole life, and I am fuckin 18.

I'm Leaving High School!!!

2011-07-01T18:33:00.000-07:00

This year I am a college freshman girl :D
congratulation for me, I pass the SNMPTN tulis, I am gonna study Ilmu Komunikasi at UGM. That's very relieving..

gonna miss them, but not the school.

Pretty Girls Are Rules

2011-06-22T22:24:00.000-07:00

my handmade. pencil on paper

most beautiful girls I know are smart.
one night it incited me to think, what does make it this way? why does the beautiful girls have to be smart?
in my conclusion, why most beautiful girls are smart because.. well, their beauty diminish their life burdensome. so they have enough time to study harder than average girls do. while average girls are craving to find out 'how to be beauty', the 'already beautiful' girls are doing some other beneficial things. how could this life so unfair ya..

2011-06-22T06:57:00.000-07:00

(rayban: never hide)

Fall

2011-06-04T23:37:00.000-07:00

pencil on sketchbook and digital improvement on color

do you know what is good from being fallen? you'll realize that it is hurt and not gonna fall for twice.
people fall once, some of them twice or more. but you know, you can stay up and forget it and just start over again. or maybe you can stay fall, and killed by the growing up bad feeling of your own. well, there's no such important point I wanna tell you. I just want you to stay up for all the failure you've done. like not passing the SNMPTN undangan, or failed at your national examination, or anything else. you will still have another chance to SNMPTN tertulis or Paket C or anything else. sounds cliche but that's true. This universe have its secret to be succeed: sincerely accept your failure

(Not) Accepted

2011-05-17T07:32:00.000-07:00

"the naked smoker"
pencil that's it

well today is really not my day. I got dumped by UGM, but I still have the second chance anyway, here I come SNMPTN tertulis :)

this is WAR!

2011-04-17T02:44:00.000-07:00

picture's taken from simpsonstrivia.com.ar

tomorrow is war for me: the national final exam for senior high school. wish me luck readers! wish me luck mr. burns!

The Name

2011-04-05T23:09:00.000-07:00

pierre noire conté (pencil) on sketchbook and a little bit touch up in Photoshop™

does your name have a meaning? I'm sure it has. No matter how weird it is, it must be got something meaningful behind it.

well, this blog has it name, Feeling Hide. Have you ever guess what meaning behind it?

I was meant to say that this blog is hiding. yes, hiding, so people would look for me. I don't need to make people to look for me but they would love to do it by their own feeling. how cool was that name meant to be huh? hehe.

What I want to say here is.. how important name is. It has powerful prayer in it. yeah, believe me. I never do something without any consideration (if you really know me. but sometimes people find me with blanky face like I have never think of something but actually I always thinking for the best way to get rid of any problem), including picking a name. So, being a philosopher is a really good thing. don't get wrong for any wishes you'll make, or even some little thing that you'll say :)

Being Appreciated

2011-03-24T05:50:00.000-07:00

one of my work (on picture: me, self photograph with hands)
un-presumed, people like it. I posted it un-proposed

the most beautiful thing people ever done to me is loving my works.
I'm not an easily impressed person though. I am not doing lip services by saying a good thing about something that I don't really like.
don't ever say something is good if it is not. you may just silent or say something that might fix it.
being appreciated/praised is one of happy thing, don't ruin it with your lies ;)

The Number 1

2011-03-20T04:40:00.000-07:00

pencil on sketchbook, that's it

everybody's trying so hard to be the number one.
I have never been the number one. I am not the number 1 at my class rank, I am not the number 1 child, I am not the number 1 at anything, or to anyone.
but that's okay. someone ever said to me, being the number 1 is good, but, being the only 1 is better.

Aulia Jasmine

2011-03-03T01:40:00.000-08:00

yesterday I had a photoshot with her for her first month anniversary with Panggah.
I really like her cute face, that's why I put her here.

Happy Feeling Turns You Good

2011-02-26T17:09:00.000-08:00

(this is my favorite one)

Azka, Aulia, Me, Alia

last sunday I had photoshot with Azka, Aulia, Alia, Bisma Hakim, and Noe Prasetya. Bisma and Noe as the taker. Unfortunately my camera had little trouble that time.
that was quite fun and tiring.
wait for the next photoshot ya.

and yesterday I and my boyfriend attended concert of harmony by UGM. featuring Adithia Sofyan. I have waited that for so much time, and yesterday was perfect :)

Lack of Color

2011-02-17T04:26:00.000-08:00

"can I join you to the ballroom?" "no"

Colored pencil on sketchbook. that's it.

today I feel like drawing so many things (in less colour)
I need more practices!

Popok Tri Wahyudi

2011-02-16T22:10:00.000-08:00

"The Last Brewed Indonesian Coffee" Acrylic on canvas, 1999 55" x 39.5"by Popok Tri Wahyudi
see his profile here!

last sunday I have a meeting with Om Popok. he is an artist, and also my father's friend.
I don't really know him very well (yet). all I know that he is a very cool painting artist I have ever known. his paintings, and personality are cool. he said he learned every color from the maker of this universe B)
and I also have 2 of his paintings on my living room for long time ago. how cool huh?

I learned many things from him that sunday. and I'll start to paint more next sunday. I am so excited about to do something on my canvas. can't wait to buy my own equipments!

for me, painting is not about how much money you can earn, but how to keep your idealism and originality.

The Expired Date

2011-02-16T21:27:00.000-08:00

my choco treat for my beloved bf

does your love is expired-able like chocolate on valentine's day?
it has it end and getting worse day by day, just like the chocolate does.
and the worst thing about expired date is un-fix-able.

anyway, happy valentine (I know it's too late)
I'd rather have my love as a whiskey

Tied By Yourself

2011-02-13T08:31:00.000-08:00

pencil on sketchbook, that's it

do you ever feel like 'Tied'?
never really enjoy your ownself because of people assumption. Trying to be what the society see it's good. Can't release what we really are.
just the way I see, that's how most people living like. living fake. living pushed.

I see my self as the most people: I never really enjoy myself. I try to be so fun around my friends, try to be so good beside my bf, try to be so observant while my parents around. Afraid of being so fat, afraid of wearing anything weird, and so many other worries. I am trying to be the best that I possibly could be. I don't get it why I should do that? Why don't I be just my self?

instead of it, the only thing that stop you to be the way you are is your ownself. You never want to be mocked. we won't to be so weird or different.
yeah, we are our own problem.

The Dub Scene

2011-02-05T02:44:00.000-08:00

I have nothing to post, but something I want to share about my nationality and race.. I am a javanese by the way. And I am proud of it.. Well these are some videos I wanna show you, they dub it in java language. It's freaking funny! sorry for the low sense of humor of mine :B
and maybe you'll not understand it if you aren't javanese.. so learn about it first, but may take a long time.

enjoy it, dab!

I Am The Birthday Girl

2011-01-27T00:30:00.000-08:00

heloooo finally I'm 18 this year!
My birthday is on january 23..
I had some pictures of my homely birthday, here they are

photo thanks to Adhlan Fadhilaz Ahmad

and here they are the birthday gifts, yipeeee!

winsor & newton acrylic set from my lovely boyfriend

and really nice wedges from my beloved friends

I really have a great new age, wish me the best for this year guys!

the another important is.. thanks my lovely azka for your very nice post (click), I feel so honor ;)
oh and another very important one, thanks to mbak nur for having me this party, I love you!

I've Got Nothing to Post but My New Denims

2011-01-10T06:08:00.000-08:00

hello again from my hiatus.
holiday is over now.. it means I have a loooooooot of things to do:
national final exam
UGM test and SNMPTN
and so on so on so on.
I have to prepare it very well so I wouldn't have to be as upset as my junior high school graduation. I got a bad score so I didn't pass my desired senior high qualification.. and now, I don't wanna turn it back. so I have to spend a lot of my time by taking up math, sociology, geography, and other school subjects. this year would be very busy *sigh*

I don't have a lot of time to take a new picture. so I hope you wouldn't mind if I'm showing you this, my new denims: levi's 512 (I hope it 514 or straight skinny). I love it much, it fits on every clothes I wear. thanks levi's!

The New Year

2011-01-02T03:17:00.000-08:00

those things I did at end of of 2010. let me list it:
jco and breadtalk for breakfast, lunch and dinner. damage my stomach for sure -_-
watch Tron Legacy (Paragon)
reading marmut merah jambu (raditya dika)
watch seigi no mikata (episode 1 til last). it's a japanese drama. you should watch.
watch Wedding Peach. an old anime. I yelled CUPU on and on. by the way, I love it when I was a little, very little, girl
and having barbeque on rooftop with my cousins and auntie at night. what a great day :D

well, talk about wedding peach it reminds me how girl always want a perfect wedding with a perfect partner. marriage seems fun, I still think that way nowadays.
after marriage, we'll have our own house, having our own family just 2 of me and my husband. having supper together everyday. having someone to kiss in the early morning. and having other oh so romantic things everyday. that would be really really fun :>

anyway, I hope this year would be best for us :)
sorry I didn't bring a camera on this vacation. so, no picture. I really sorry for my self. I forget to buy a new memory card instead of my father take the old one.

Summer In The City (Regina Spektor)

2010-12-28T17:43:00.001-08:00

"Summer in the city, I'm so lonely lonely lonely
So I went to a protest just to rub up against strangers
And I did feel like coming but I also felt like crying
It doesn't seem so worth it right now

When it's summer in the city
And you're so long gone from the city
I start to miss you, baby, sometimes "

I would love to have my own airplane, so I would probably not missing anyone.

2010-12-24T02:40:00.000-08:00

the glass roof
this picture was taken at LPP convention hotel. And I was thinking of make a glass roof for my future house. it will be cool.

after taking this picture I was thinking that it's great to see the sky clearly without the roof material cover. it's like we can foresee everything clearly. I really hope it could happen to my real world. foresee everything clearly. It would cure my worry mind about what will happen next. that is my lifetime fearness: future.

I miss her like wow

2010-12-19T18:41:00.000-08:00

she is my little sister. isn't she really cute?
well she is now living far from me. and I miss her soooooo damn much. hehe.
We have never been separated for 11 years (because she is now 11). But then she had to move away to other city.
have you ever missed your sibling? it's like losing some parts of yourself. it's like weird. they are the one who you can talk to about everything. and now gone.
I hope she will visit me this holiday because I can't visit her by the way, I have to stay at home study for the national final exam 2011.
hey citra please visit me here ya :)

The Wardrobe

2010-12-16T04:08:00.000-08:00

this afternoon I was doing something that I rarely do recently but I like to do it so much: dive out the old wardrobe.and voila! I found my brother's old armani denim. how cool. I love the colour so much. I have it on a shirt too, and the shirt was so oversize like a coat. I will show you other time.
and guess what, I found my old suit too. It was uniforms...

my FORANZA uniform.
I was on anti narcotics organization. and I am proud of it :)

P.K.S (I think it is for Polisi Keamanan Sekolah ---> School's Security)
everybody at my elementary school have it by the way.
and wow I still fit on this uniform, it means I didn't change a lot since 12 years old.

My taekwondo suit.
It's been a long time I've been not trained anymore. I don't like to be in the taekwondo by the way. but my father and my mother love me to do that (because they love adrenalin activity I guess). But I'm proud enough to be in the taekwondo training once :D

well that's it. my wardrobe is full of collectible items right?

My Backyard

2010-12-15T01:49:00.000-08:00

leopard over my backyard
I gotta open my heart
for no retard

on picture: meilani putri utami

The Drawn T-Shirt

2010-12-13T08:06:00.000-08:00

yesterday or something I made a drawing on my white T-shirt. and I rather have it on black and white. what do you think?

sorry for making it blurry, I was self timering and the focus won't help a lot.

Playing Wii

2010-12-12T23:28:00.000-08:00

and this one we played it mucher: Dance on Broadway

yesterday I played Nintendo Wii with friends. that was really fun. and you know, we like to play dance on broadway especially Good Morning, Baltimore song (what a geek :B ). we dance around with our hand moving according to the screen play. what a very healthy game..
I wish I could buy one :3

2010-12-12T06:38:00.000-08:00

Glossy black sneakers (Rp. 180.000,00)
FYI it's handmade
ready stock, size 41. go grab it!

contact me for further info :)

Holiday is Coming

2010-12-11T19:26:00.000-08:00

I love december. December means a lot of holidays :D

where would you go for this holiday?
I have nothing to plan. but yeah a few days ago Meilani asked me to have a holiday with her to Wonosobo or whatever by car.
and another plan is going to singapore with one of my cousin. But I don't know, I have to spend 4 million rupiah and hell I will not do that. I am such bokek. (I don't have money) but I wish we'll be able to visit jakarta and surabaya in may or so.
and another plan is staying at home mumbling, playing games, and drinking those lot of root beers.
whatever the activity, I love to have a holiday. Happy holiday everyone!

The Past

2010-11-29T20:54:00.000-08:00

well I'm kinda missing all of my childhood:
when I was so innocent and everyone likes it
when I was be in one happy family
when I was not worried about anything
when I can hug my mother and father everytime I need a warmth
when I have a little secret with my older brother
when I learn about how to bike with my brother
when my mommy cooks me a very delicious cake every birthday
when my grandmother wasn't too old to carry me for walk

well I can't mention it one by one. I'm about to cry just to remember it :')
It has been long gone.
It was a very great memory.

The Wedding

2010-11-27T01:44:00.000-08:00

today I attended a wedding of aghni's sister (mba nana)

(aghni, mba nana and me ---> feeling short)
taken by mas taufik (mba nana's husband)

the gift: bodyshop, clinique and others. what a gift!

after they declared their marriage today, I've been thinking of mine. I've been thinking how it will be going on me. I just don't feel ready for commitment issue (for now). I will be marry once in a lifetime. I promise my self. and it feels too big for me. I just don't feel ready for all of those think. maybe 7 or 9 years from now I gotta be go for it.
But I still get a long way to go huh? I am 17 by the way.

well.. anyway, I hope they are always be a happy couple for the rest of their life. amin :)

I hope you guys enjoy being in the same bedroom for the first time :)

New Shoes from UNO shoes store

2010-11-25T22:25:00.000-08:00

Hey Readers! I am selling shoes!

suede on white, cream, black, brown, maroon
Rp. 180.000,00

you can get this shoes by contact me:
email: sekarbestari@live.com
yahoo messenger: helosekar
facebook: sekar bestari
or you can just comment this post

you can have your custom design of your own! feel free to have a chit chat with me :)

The Beautiful Azka

2010-11-25T03:36:00.000-08:00

(sekar: 2010)
leizer moi vous emerveille le belle Azka
well, she is my boyfriend's little sister

Sorry For Having a Blast

2010-11-25T02:16:00.000-08:00

(meilany, me, aulia, azka)

today I have a school free and decided to go swim with my girls. they are so gorgeous.

and having dimsum for lunch at quality hotel

and this one is mutia and me, I got a new tattoo!

I Want a Blackberry(tm) Phone

2010-11-23T23:52:00.000-08:00

(sekar: 2010)

just few days ago I was thinking of buying a new cell phone, I mean a blackberry. well I don't know why but I just want it. I see some of my friends using it and it's kinda fun that you can push email or having messenger in very high speed mobile everywhere. but then I was thinking some reasons why I don't need it that much. what will happen in this earth when I can do my blackberry messenger? is there something special? I still can do common short messages from my current mobile phone. and I can do messenger on my pc everytime I need it at home. I'm not so mobiling like any business man or ceo or whatever. my father once said to me that he's rather not using blackberry because everybody use it today, so every single second of his day will be disturbed by the email that come to him and it's annoying especially at the sleep time. He has to stay mobile every single second.
and secondly, I just don't feel so right to ask my father to buy me one. This phone is not necessary for me and I admit it. Though actually I can buy it with my own money, but then I realize that I still have to pay the messenger cost monthly which is I have double internet payment monthly. what the heck I will not do that!
so I think for now I don't need it. But I still want it.
what else for me by using blackberry better than for being GAUL

3 things on 3 days

2010-11-23T00:01:00.000-08:00

a big big cup of Häagen-Dazs (from my boyfriend) on tuesday, my handmade bracelets on wednesday, and new glasses on thursday!
you should envy me. would you would you would you?

The Feast

2010-11-22T08:17:00.000-08:00

(sekar:2010)

"Les rêves des amoureux sont comme le bon vin
Ils donnent de la joie ou bien du chagrin
Affaibli par la faim je suis malheureux
Volant en chemin tout ce que je peux
Car rien n’est gratuit dans la vie"
Camille

Listen to her

The Bestfriend Ever

2010-11-17T06:40:00.000-08:00

mba nur

I'm kinda weird. The bestest friend I have is not a school partner, a mom or another bestfriendforever from high school. My Bestfriend is mba nur. She is my house assistant. I know her since I was in kindergarten.
She really knows me inside and out. She can make me feel being helped when I have my school assigment unfinished, or make me feel right when I have no money at the end of month (she's willing to lend me some), She cooks me every meals I want (but sometimes she can't cook it), She buys me everything I need, and she listen to all of my story.she is the most caring person in my life. does your bestfriend will ever do all those things for you? well, I like her a lot.I don't know what should I do without her.
Thanks god for send her for me :)
please bless her forever.

Too Much ISO

2010-11-17T03:19:00.000-08:00

meilani putri utami

"I've been working from seven, seven, seven, to eleven
every night and It kinda makes my life a drag...
a drag, drag, oh yeah it makes a drag.
Baby, Since I've Been Loving You, I'm about to lose,
I'm about lose lose my worried mind."
corrine bailey rae

Moving Fast

2010-11-11T07:23:00.000-08:00

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same
Keanne

I feel like suddenly crying this night.
I am not moving on something. I'm not doing anything better. I am such a useless.
I am such a coward just to foresee something in my life. I am too worried about what will happen tomorrow. I feel like it's just a little time I got. I want a big thing with less effort.
even I can not just stop my crying right now :'(

I think all I need is just a hug of a friend who will tell me that I will always gonna be good and my life is going on it spin properly. I need a little share and hand. everybody needs one when they are down.

#sorry for giving you a pile of trash

A Little Love From My Father

2010-11-08T03:31:00.000-08:00

my daddy gave this wooden love symbol yesterday. he got the wood (I forget the name of the wood) from Karimunjawa. He told me that people say it can help you to cure from animal toxic.
my dad honed it himself. soooo cool. I love my daddy a lot. he promised me to carve my name on it soon. who would be happier than me :)

Oh ya, do you love animal? show it by these cute things!

(necklace 'My Bestfriend Rescued Me' for $5.95 )

==============================================

(bracelet 'Until They All Have a House' for $3.95)

===========================================

(polyester bag for $14.95)

get them now everyone! so you can help lot of animals for having a house :D
you can order them at Animal Rescue - Pet Shop

and one more thing, I have a new adorable little friend named azka aka thena, she is beautiful, smart, can do dance, and I just like her. she is my boyfriend's little sister by the way :D
I want to show you her blog, follow this link!

The First Date

2010-11-07T00:56:00.000-07:00

colouring pens and pencil on paper

(sekar: 2010)

this post special dedicated for my boyfriend. he wore them at our first date. I'm not sure he still remember it but I do! it was July 4 on 2009. Transformers 2 on XXI cinema.

*I don't even remember what I wore that time.

Guilt Free

2010-11-07T00:07:00.000-07:00

coloring pens and pencil on sketchbook
(sekar: 2010)

Do you have some special diets? I have everybody.
I am not eating at evening and less sugar consume. Actually I have no special disease or something. It's about my weight and body proportion. I got it all wrong. I AM FAT. that's why I made all those special diets.
The Harvest help me to have a snack at noon. It's all organic and less sugar. Feel free to eat a lot chocolate from them, you don't have to feel guilty :D

Genie On the Colour Pencil, What Food Should I Eat Today?

2010-11-05T02:44:00.000-07:00

this noon is raining, ashes rain too over my house. hot chocolate and chocolate bars help me a lot.
I wish I could share chocolates with merapi eruption victims over the evacuation lot :(

#pray for Indonesia, everybody please.

Wear Mask Today, Please

2010-10-30T01:32:00.000-07:00

12 am (GMT +7) merapi mount in Jogjakarta (my hometown) had it eruption. many victims and upsets. I got some pictures after had trip near the mount with meilani. here they are, dust fog's covering the city and the traffic jam was so annoying. everybody in town's wearing mask this day because of the danger of the dust.

how dirty the raindrops on the car's window

LOOK!
everyone's wearing a mask today even on the car! (meilani and her house assistant)

Everybody should help the victims of this disaster anyway, they are in such a big trouble. help can be everything! your money, your clothes or maybe your power or voice or prayer. just something you are willing to give :)

Today I'm so happy to have a share with them. I don't mean to show off about what I've done or something, I really don't mean that. I just want to share with you that even a geeky and such stingy person like me have a little care to other, how can you are not. I bought them some instant milks. I hope it would help :')

so.. come on people, come and help them without or with noticing. what else in this life better than helping each other :)
(people in mentawai need help too, tsunami attack causes a lot of victims and damages)

and I was just heard the news a minute ago from the television, the place I've been going to this day is being isolated now. everybody are not allowed to go there. oh gosh, I'm so afraid of this :(

wish it will gonna be well soon.

Glorious 39

2010-10-29T08:41:00.001-07:00

goldy blazer (top). gonna be on shopping list.

sleeping outwear. how cute :3

look at this hairstyle, does it make you want one? hihi

such an adorable wears! I love the red headband. and the fresh yellow dress makes me thirsty. love it

maybe you are unable to see the shoes clearly, but it is oxfords, and it's perfect with the navy blue and hat

Romola Garai
(picture is taken from bluelight.ru)

yesterday I watched Glorious 39. at first this movie seems non direction, but then it becomes alluring.
The movie tells about 39's. it was nazi's glorious period. Romola acted as Anne, an adopted child of parliament member. she wanted a war with nazi better than had a teamwork with them, but the family wanted the contrary one. since she was just an adopted one, what could she do. she ran away and.. better you watch it yourself.

actually I'm not going to tell you about this movie's story or coda. I'm just going to tell that this movie has an adorable actress and such adorable outwear! though it doesn't seem like 39's british's outerwear for sure (but I also sure that they were not just playing on this movie make, they've been making it so great!) Romola is so much beautiful and the clothes are always fit in her. such such such a very cute way to dress up :)
I'm in love with her. hihi.
I can not give you all of the very great dresses picture in the movie because I just can't. And sorry for the bad resolution since I was just print screen it. You will be able to see it better on dvd/vcd ;) (or illegally download)

Come to Me, UGM

2010-10-27T05:38:00.001-07:00

the location is UGM, going to be my college, amin :D
in picture: meilani putri utami

I am in high school nowadays. I don't hate this school, I just don't think it is a good place to educate people. no great teacher or facilities. well, I live in Indonesia. Everybody should know about how lame our education is. They (I mean governments) really don't know how to manage this country. I should be shame of it.
They don't give any pile of damn of educational thing. The only thing they care is educating theirself: having picnic all around the world mention it to be an educational comparison. Infact it's spend too much money, better to fix our education problems! such a greedy, stupid and geez what next can I say.. I'm such in a bad emotion when talking about my country's government. they are a stupid high school 12th grader alike, even I am better than them.
by the way, nation's best defense is an educated citizenry :(

Wacky Wacky Sunday

2010-10-27T05:17:00.000-07:00

let me in introduce meilani, she is little bit odd and freak. but she's just cute wearing every single of her outfit. I like her, we're doing fun last sunday. she is long haired, and I am in the short hair one, I was just cut it down. does it such an adorable haircut? :D

can't stand wearing high heels, such a geek :B

meilani is my high school friend, we're getting close at 11th grade. she likes partying, dancing, joining car club, and other 'oh so wow' activity hehehe. and I am such a geeky teenage, doing weird things, and rather staying at home. how can this relationship being so longlast, hehehe. I hope we're always be in this way. oh yea she's going to have a college at Paris, France (I'd rather go to India), wish her a lot of grant :)

how beautiful we are. joy is the best makeup ;)

What Do You Think She Is

2010-10-17T05:03:00.000-07:00

she is Inas Aprillia Erikawa, my close friend.
don't you ever think that it is terrosist picture. Muslim is absolutely not a terrorist, maybe you always stereotype it.

2010-10-15T09:26:00.000-07:00

sekar: 2010

And if a double-decker bus
crashes in to us
to die by your side
is such a heavenly way to die
The smiths

Nancy Sinatra - Sugar Town

2010-10-15T09:18:00.000-07:00

sekar: 2010

I got some troubles but they won't last
I'm gonna lay right down here in the grass
And pretty soon all my troubles will pass
'cause I'm in shoo-shoo-shoo, shoo-shoo-shoo
Shoo-shoo, shoo-shoo, shoo-shoo Sugar Town

well I like old song. But, lately I listen to zoey deschanel's cover. It's just lovely. She's so pretty by the way :)
I wish I were in the sugar town.

Thought of Inspiring Pile

2010-10-09T23:33:00.000-07:00

Well hello again. I'm kinda missing to write my own thought.

I know some great people. they are not a president, or the CEO, or a professor. they are just people who appreciate their self and respect other. they are just well educated. they know what they are doing. they are not pushing people, they are not bothering other, they are not underestimate. they are not another materialistic people in developing country. they are never judging people at first sight. they love their family, their friends. and the really nice one is they listen to other.
they are living for the next live.
I really wish to be the next great people.

Hey Dad, I'm Looking for a Treasure for You

2010-10-05T09:30:00.000-07:00

no, thanks, son.